The Improvisational Show Conundrum
by KC14isme
Summary: Howard has discovered a National Science Fair, "a day of discovery, wonder, and explosions". When his friends have to go present at a symposium, Howard ends up going with the least likely candidate.


**Howard sat down on the arm of the couch again, staring straight at the tv. Clutched in his hands was an Indian meal that gave every possible form of the middle finger to all things kosher. As he bit into this sinful, soon-to-be-ingestion food, he listened to Leonard complain about his failures with Penny.**

**"I mean, we were laughing, having a good time, and then..."**

**"And then you fell into her bamzoombas." finished Raj. Howard suddenly snapped his head out of his food.**

**"Wait, he got his face into her..."**

**"It was an accident!" Exclaimed Leonard. "I was trying to move in a little closer and I tripped on to carpet."**

**"So how was it?" asked Howard hurriedly. "Were they fluffy? Soft? Firm? Did you bounce off them and rocket backwards?"**

**"Why should I notice?" asked Leonard.**

**"Why should I... Oh god, you're helpless." said Howard, turning back to his food. He did not notice Raj turning toward him, giving him an odd look.**

**"Since when does one describes boombases as 'fluffy'?" he asked.**

**Howard rolled his eyes.**

**"First of all, they're called breasts. Second, of course they can be fluffy! You know, like pillows!"**

**"Bombesses are not stuffed with feathers and covered in linen!" exclaimed Raj.**

**"Oh, look, Sheldon, what do you think?"**

**Sheldon, who had been quietly eating his food throughout this exchange, did not look up as he answered."I have no opinion as to matters of human mammary glands. All I'm wondering is why everyone has gotten so wrapped up in this trivial conversation that I had to turn on the TV to watch Dr Who."**

**-------**

**Later that evening, Howard was on the computer, attempting to once again prove Sheldon wrong.**

**"No, you see, it's obvious that the US version of Whose Line was far better than the UK because the performers had more experience."**

**"I disagree." said Sheldon emphatically over his shoulder. "The UK version had a less involved host, very little censorship, and a buzzer that doesn't make my ears ring."**

**"No, Sheldon, you see, they were all making British joke. And Drew Carry's one liners kept the show going. Finally, the UK did not have 'the cat' joke. Therefore, I win."**

**"At least the UK version doesn't have a very stiff looking man stop the show everytime Hitler is mentioned." said Sheldon. **

**Howard rolled his eyes and turned back to the computer. His eyes glanced at an advertisement on the side of the page."Hey wait a minute, 'National Science Fair'?"**

**"What's that?" asked Leonard from the couch."**

**'A day of discovery, wonder, and explosions.'" Howard read. "I used to go to these kind of conventions so often!"**

**All of the other three were standing behind him, staring at the page, which displayed colorful graphics and a smiling child.**

**"When is it?" asked Leonard.**

**"October 18th." said Howard.**

**"Awwwwwwww." all three said in unison.**

**"We have to go to this symposium that day." said Leonard.**

**"Symposium? What symposium?" Howard demanded, turning in his chair.**

**"Don't you know? We have to present at a symposium with Robert Radagain that day."**

**"Robert Radahain... I wasn't invited!" exclaimed Howard.**

**"Yeah... Well... Everyone thought it'd be better if... If it was all PhDs.**

**"There was a moment of silence. Howard finally stood up.**

**"Fine then." he said. "I see where this is going. I'll just... Go by myself." he grinned at the other three. "at least people don't think I'm a stuffy symposium presenter, huh?"**

**"You're just jealous because you don't get a Dr. in front of your name." said Raj.**

**"Im not jealous." insisted Howard stoicly. "Besides..," he said, grinning again. "I am a doctor... A doctor of love."**

**"More like a doctor of bad 60s haircuts." retorted Raj.**

**"You know, I've always wondered." said Sheldon. "If Howard's life goal is to attract as many females as he can, why does he dress in such a way that always scares them off?"**

**Howard looked down at his bright red shirt, mouth agap.**

**"This is science! Women go for bright colors in all species! It's basic psychology!"**

**"Oh yeah? And how has that psychology worked for you?" asked Leonard.**

**Howard sighed and looked at his friends."All I know is that I'm going to an amazing science fair and you're not." he said cheerfully before walking out the door. **

**The three looked at each other.**

**"He has a point." said Leonard sadly.**


End file.
